Peter's Blog

Iberianspices spicesiberia

Sunday, 3 February 2013

Time to admit what a fool i have been

Some or most of use are proud of our lives and of what we have done during our life. Some of us have regrets about things we have done or not done during or life. Me i am not different than most other people and it's a story i am not proud of but it's time i faced up to what i have done wrong.

I had a daughter while married to my first wife and one Christmas i called with my youngest two children to see if she wanted to visit use during the Christmas holidays.  My daughter said no but the way she said it told me she wanted nothing to do with me or that's how i felt her reply meant. She was in her mid teens and growing up to be a young women and it was a choice she made. I left telling her that she could contact me and she knew how but she never.

Being a stubborn person that i am i waited but she never did get in touch. I should have gone back but just waited expecting her to call . That has been the worst thing i have ever done and the biggest regret in my life. How stupid i have been, i have missed more of my daughters life than i saw when she was young. Never a day goes by that i don't think of her and even the day i moved to Portugal i drove passed her mums house in the hope that i may see her but sadly i didn't.

I am sending a letter to my daughter in case after all this time she should want to have contact with me. I have had to live with my actions when i walked away from her but i should have been the one to make the first move. Is it to late who knows but i have written the letter and on Monday i will post it  to her mum and let her mum consider whether to pass the letter on or if it's best that she gets on with her life without me.    

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